In many Asian families, values like respect, hard work, and the importance of education are deeply rooted. Growing up, my mother and uncles often reminded me that studying hard was the only path to a secure future. This mindset became a core part of my identity and later shaped my parenting journey—especially with my first daughter.
When my second daughter was born, she witnessed us encouraging her older sister to excel academically. Without needing the same push, she began achieving excellent grades independently. I remember feeling grateful and thinking, “This girl is so self-driven; I don’t need to worry about her.”
What I didn’t realize at the time was how much emotional weight she carried as she tried to live up to the expectations she thought we had for her. While she worked hard and excelled academically, her true passions lay in art and leadership—areas I didn’t nurture enough because I assumed she was happy just doing well in school.
Looking back, I realize that not having deeper emotional conversations or encouraging her to freely express herself may have impacted her mental well-being. She often kept her feelings to herself, prioritizing meeting perceived expectations over her interests.
Now, as an adult, she is beginning to open up and explore what truly brings her joy. This experience has taught me that supporting academic success is not enough. We must also prioritize the emotional health of our children. Their happiness and mental well-being are just as important as their achievements.
Reflecting on this as a mum has been eye-opening. Sometimes, our intentions stem from a place of love and cultural values, but we might inadvertently create stress or pressure for our children by not recognizing their unique passions and dreams.
Let’s Start a Conversation
Have you experienced similar moments with your family?
Or, if you could share one thing you wish your parents understood about your passions and mental well-being, what would it be?
Let’s start a conversation about balancing cultural values and emotional health—one step at a time.
This dialogue underscores the importance of balancing cultural values with emotional health. It’s not just about what we teach our children but how we connect with them on a deeper level. Let’s continue this conversation and learn from one another.
