Healing the Past, Building the Future: A Message to Our Generation

Have you ever carried words from your parents that still echo in your mind?

Words that shaped how you see yourself, even years later?

For many of us, these moments leave unseen wounds, impacting our mental health and relationships in ways we might not always recognise.

For many Asian parents, saying “I’m sorry” feels almost impossible. They grew up in a world where respect flowed one way, from child to parent. Apologizing can feel like losing authority or admitting failure. But here’s something important to understand: most parents didn’t mean to hurt us. Their love might not always have felt gentle, but it was real. They acted from what they knew, shaped by their struggles and cultural values. Breaking free from this history starts with understanding and forgiveness.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean what happened was okay; it means letting go of the hurt that holds us back. Healing doesn’t just help us; it can transform our relationships and pave the way for a healthier future.

Here’s how we can start:

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings: Feeling hurt or frustrated is okay. These emotions are valid and deserve recognition.
2. Understand Their Perspective: Our parents’ words and actions were shaped by their hardships or cultural expectations. Seeing this bigger picture can help soften the pain.
3. Choose to Forgive: Forgiveness isn’t for them; it’s for you. It allows you to move forward without being weighed down by the past.
4. Break the Cycle: We can rewrite the story by building relationships based on compassion, healthier communication, and mutual understanding.

Mental health is an essential part of this process. Talking to friends, sharing in a community like this, or seeking professional support can make healing less overwhelming. None of us have to go through this alone.

What’s one small way you’ve worked to understand or forgive your parents? Or how are you breaking cycles in your family?

Sharing your thoughts might inspire someone else to take their first step. Together, we can create a legacy of love, understanding, and mental well-being for ourselves and future generations.