This Thanksgiving: Reflect, Connect, and Heal

Family relationships can be one of the most rewarding yet challenging parts of our mental health journey, especially for many of us in the Asian community. With Thanksgiving approaching, this is a time when many of us think about going home—or maybe not going home—and the complex emotions that come with it.

For some, going home can feel warm and comforting. For others, it might bring up old tensions, misunderstandings, or fears of judgment. But I want to invite you to reflect for a moment:

Our parents, imperfect, human, and often carrying their unspoken struggles—sacrificed so much for us. They left behind their homeland, their families, and their sense of familiarity to build a better life in a world they didn’t fully understand. They faced language barriers, discrimination, and financial stress—all while raising us the best way they knew how.

And yes, they may not have always said, "I’m proud of you," or, "I love you." Maybe their love came from putting food on the table, working long hours, or ensuring you had opportunities they never had.

This Thanksgiving, what if we chose compassion? What if we looked past their flaws and saw the love behind their actions?

If you’re going home, here are a few ideas to make the visit meaningful for you and your parents:

Bring a small gift: It doesn’t need to be fancy—a handwritten note, their favourite snack, or something practical. A simple gesture can mean a lot.

Ask about their story: What was it like growing up for them? What were their dreams when they were young? Sometimes, understanding their past can change the way we see them.

Take a moment to say thank you: A heartfelt "Thank you for everything you’ve done for me" can create a moment of connection. 

Be present: Engage in small things they enjoy—cooking together, watching TV, or simply sitting and chatting.

This isn’t about ignoring your own needs or excusing unhealthy behaviours. It’s about taking small, intentional steps toward understanding and healing if and when you feel ready.

Questions for You:

How do you feel about going home for Thanksgiving?

Are there challenges you face connecting with your parents that you’d like to share?

What’s something you’ve done in the past that helped you have a more positive experience with your family?

Let’s use this space to share, reflect, and support one another. You’re not alone in navigating these feelings; together, we can find ways to bridge the gap between us and our families.

I wish you all a warm Thanksgiving and small steps toward healing.